Welcome Aboard

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 09:50:17 GMT

Spitting up blood after throwing up. One of my many "joys'

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 04:35:15 GMT

This time of year always fucking blows.
As always I'm broke and wondering how I can buy Christmas gifts. I'm surrounded by "Christmas cheer" and I can't fucking stand this holiday. I think some people think I'm joking when I say I hate Christmas. Well to put it bluntly and clearly, I'M NOT! This holiday is all about "happiness", "love" and "family" three things I've never fully had. So fuck this fucking holiday and fuck everyone.

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:49:19 GMT

too many weeds in the flowers
too many pills in the pharmacies now
too many bugs in the shower
there's too much shit in the air we breathe now

there's too much anger inside me
there's too much scarring when i bleed
there's too much therapy i need
there is no god that i have seen

there's too much doubt in my mom's words
there's too much fear in the way she sees life
i wonder if i'm just like her
i wonder if i can make myself right

there's too much anger inside me
there's too much scarring when i bleed
there's too much therapy i need
there is no god that i have seen

you try to help
you listen well
you cannot change the way i see

there's too much anger inside me
there's too much scarring when i bleed
there's too much therapy i need
there is no god that i have seen

Life is.....

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:31:51 GMT

Retarded.

So yeah, I guess my life has literally decided to go back to like 2005 or some shit.

I'm single again, my choice. I just couldn't get over things that happened.

I live at home again. Not my choice but the house I was staying at was sold. So now I'm a loser who sleeps in his parent's living room while all of his stuff is either boxed away in the basement or in storage.

That pretty much sums it up.

In short, I think I need to start seeing a therapist.

Life Blows

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 04:17:05 GMT

In about twenty four hours I will return "home". Back to an apartment I now will live in alone. An apartment I now have to pay everything for on my own. In essence I'm fucked. But if you see me in person or ask me, I'll probably deny it or hide the fact of how totally screwed I am. If I'm lucky I make $300ish a week. That is how much my rent is a month. Add onto the fact that the electric bill averages in the hundreds and the gas and water combine add into another hundred. I am totally screwed. And to be honest it only seems like three people truly care. Me, my mom and Hayley. I doubt anyone else does or frankly I would've gotten more notice. Not to be thrown to the wolves on basically a whim by someone who at this time last year was asking me for my spare room. It fucking hurts. Through everything that sticks out in my mind the most. I helped out a friend this time last year who I doubt even batted an eye on what kind of situation he now leaves me in. Which is over my head. I can't find a roommate cause my parents are supposed to eventually buy out my dumbass uncle. I can't nor won't ask anyone for any money. I'm screwed. Seems like life always does this to keep me balanced and a realist. I guess I can't have everything. I have love so I can't have money. I have happiness so I can't have complacency. This fucking sucks.

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:41:41 GMT

She's not leaving me?

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:29:55 GMT

She left me

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 03:51:39 GMT

I just don't know.

Newness

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:03:17 GMT

So I guess its time for another update. Mainly because I feel like it.

Hayley and I are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. And I couldn't be happier.
I mean hell! In the first week of our relationship we've planned to do more stuff together than my past combined and fucking multiplied.

Speaking of which this just became a really busy year.

I'm taking her down the shore next saturday. And I can't wait
I got Rockstar Mayhem in August.
I got my week vacation down the shore.
We're going to go to the Renaissance Faire at some point.
I have my trip to see the Phils spank the Mets in Shea Stadiums.
We're going to go to a bunch of Flyers games when the season starts.
I'm getting a newer car at some point this year.
Can anyone say Eastern State Penn pt.2? Oh yeah, going back this year and taking my girl with me.
I don't know exactly what I'm doing for Halloween but I do know who I'm spending it with. :-)
Same goes for Christmas and New Years. :-)

I'm a very happy guy right now.VERY happy.

I look forward to what the future holds. Especially with her by my side.

Changes

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 06:53:26 GMT

Wow, it has been a long time since I've posted an actual post.

A bunch of things have changed since then, some I won't mention because if you know me, you already know.

But I will mention that most likely I will be getting a better car for nothing as long as my "uncle" remains an idiot.

Also my living situation will be changing within a year, I'm not moving, its more my family is....to here.Which is good for me seeing as I won't have to pay rent anymore but it sucks that I practically have to kick Craig out. I'm sorry man.

Another thing that has changed is I've begun to see this amazing girl, her name is Hayley and I really REALLY like her. I've never been this interested in a girl in about two years. And surprisingly enough she likes me too. I get to see her again in a few hours which is just awesome and I'm giddy like a child just about spending time with her again.

It really does feel good being with her too, because for the first time ever I feel I can be myself while with someone. And not have to try ridiculously hard to woo them or try to change myself into the person they want so they stay with me.

So yeah, life is good. I'm looking for a new job, hopefully a state job, that way I can have a change of scenery and also stop destroying my body as well. I actually have a girl that I can hopefully soon call my own. And by the end of this summer I'll have a car I can actually be proud of.

Most of all, for the first time in a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time I'm happy. I mean completely happy and actually alive again. Its good to be out of the darkness and back into reality. I really have missed it.

Mon, 12 May 2008 23:11:46 GMT

Fuck birthdays.

Holy Crap!

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:32:43 GMT

This has been one interesting year so far in the best ways possible. The main thing being that I have lost a bunch of weight and am continuing to lose weight still. For the first time I'm actually going to put out there how much I weighed when I started this diet. I weighed 370. Scary, I know. Now for the good news, I currently weigh 330. I've lost forty pounds so far. Forty fucking pounds! Holy shit! At this rate I am only six months away from my goal weight of 250. That is amazing to me since I've been big for most of my life.

The other interesting thing is my father is actually going to help me when I go for my next car. Which will probably be May. As most people who have read this thing for a while know, my father and I don't have to great of a relationship at all so that was surprising to actually have him agree to it.

So now that I feel unstoppable in doing and getting what I want, I am making a bold statement that will be true. By fall of 2008 I will be a college student, finally.

Man, life is actually good.

Why Post Something New When You Can Recycle?

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 15:39:54 GMT

Easter [Mar. 27th, 2005|11:02 am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]
[ music | Metallica - MAMA SAID ]

Its odd how things change.....at one point in my life this was one of my favorite holidays. I used to look forward to it every year. You know the basic kids stuff, the easter egg hunt, the candy, the overall fun. But nowadays since I'm older alot of holidays have lost their meaning and value to me, including this one. I mean my family pretty much does nothing different on this day except cook a ham (a turkey breast for me since I don't eat ham) and thats basically it. There was talks of perhaps dying some eggs so that might be a little fun but besides that nothing. I get up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home and then eat dinner and call it a night. I truly do miss some aspects of my childhood, just the general innocence that is now lost. I really can't pinpoint the time in my life that I became so dark and serious either...its like a blur to me. To all that read this today Happy Easter! Hopefully you'll find ways to enjoy it, be it with family or loved ones of any kind. Me? I'll be dealing with the last minute jackasses at Shop-Rite.

What a difference of six months eh?

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:12:17 GMT

Any Takers?

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 02:36:03 GMT

I need to make new friends to hang out with and bullshit or just go somewhere on a whim with. I no longer have that. I honestly haven't had that for a long, long time. Honestly its starting to bother me. I mean I guess I can get most of my friends for wanting to be with their significant others but it seems like because of that I never hang out with anyone. Ever. It fucking sucks.

Ugliness

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 16:00:36 GMT

I really have noticed something about myself I guess I have previously forced myself to not notice or just to flat out ignore. I am not as innocent as I have made myself out to be for my past. And after YEARS of ignoring it I am finally going to accept blame for my actions.

I know now that I have treated some people unfairly in my past and have blamed everything on them without looking to see if some of the blame belonged to me. Well it did and does. Sick thing is I wouldn't have noticed unless I did those same actions with another individual some almost three years later.

And yes I know I am being very vague right now but to the ones this is about, they already know what I mean and as always I am using this journal as a means to vent and to explore my own inner self.

What I will not be vague about (and trust me this is going to be a hard one) is the fact that I have noticed I am very insecure. Which will also explain why my actions that hurt others happened when they did. They always happened when I thought I had nothing at all to lose.

My insecurity mainly comes to play when I feel I do. Like when trying to get romantically involved with someone I always over think EVERYTHING and question everything instead of having that never say die confidence I have at the wrong times. Which is what I have noticed has made me give off more of a friend type of vibe than anything else. Whereas when I feel I have nothing to lose I'm more like well myself I guess. Or at least the confident guy I wish I was.

So in short this is a rebuttal to myself for every single post I have ever made and only laying blame on the other party. This is my way of at least attempting to remove the venom and knives I've inserted in situations over the years.

All in all, this is me doing something that is extremely hard for me.

This is me saying I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for hurting those I know I hurt, whether it was yesterday or years ago.
I'm sorry for continuing to hurt you by laying blame strictly on you at any chance I get and just plain being a spiteful prick.
I'm sorry that now due to my actions a select few do not feel entirely comfortable with me.
And I completely understand why.

Moment of Truth Followed by Ramblings of a Jackass

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 14:58:11 GMT

Today in exactly an hour and twelve minutes I find out if my dieting for the past three months has paid off at all. Today I go in to see my family doctor, get weighed and go from there. I'm hoping it has but I can't really tell seeing as I see myself everyday and can't notice the subtle changes if there are any. Today is also the day where I am going to talk to him about everything I want to get taken care of health wise. Like my inability to breathe through my nose due to a post nasal drip, see what to do about the cosmetic issues about my knees and to also possibly talk about seeing a chiropractor to bite that bullet before its too late.

To say that I am anxious and nervous is an understatement. I really don't want to find out that my dieting has been a failure. I've almost completely changed my eating and drinking habits to a ridiculous degree. I hardly if ever partake in the foods I used to enjoy.

I really hope I am on the way to a healthier better me.

Then my next challenge will be my god damned horrible self image. The self image that has been fucked up since I was a lad that continued to become more and more fucked up with every failure of a relationship.

It has gotten to the point where I have no confidence in myself and do not like looking at myself in the mirror anymore. Thanks ~~Samantha~~,Jonette,~~Chade~~ and Angel. Thanks a lot.

You know what? Fuck that last line! Its my own fucking fault to allow myself to continue to be affected by minuscule bullshit that happened with each of them. Time to grow the fuck up already.

Time to stop hating myself already. Fuck! I'm awesome! If you don't agree with me....fuck you.

I need

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 03:49:30 GMT

I need a social circle, a dating pool if you will. I have no real hobbies that have any sort of interaction with new people.

I think.....

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:46:39 GMT

I might stop blogging. No one seems to read these anyway.

Longest Survey End of 2007 Edition

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:57:05 GMT

The longest survey you'll ever fill out! Do the world a favor: fill it out and post it for all your friends.... Do this because the person who did this didn't sit here for ages for nothing. Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.

Name: Kev.

Single or Taken: Peacefully single

Happy about: The fact that I have my own place, my own car and I have an xbox 360 XD

Siblings: Two older brothers.

Eye color: Full o' shit brown

Height: 5'8".

What are you wearing right now? Sleep pants and beater

Where do you live? Northeast Philadelphia.

Righty or lefty: Righty.

Can you make a dollar in change right now: Don't think so
Best place to go for a date: Anywhere.
-----------------------------------------------------------

FAVORITES

Numbers: 13.
Animal: don't know
Drink: Iced Tea.

Sport: Baseball

Month: October

Juice: Apple

Favorite cartoon character: Cartman.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Have You Ever...

Given anyone a bath: Nope

Bungee Jumped? Never.

Made yourself throw-up? Yeah

Gone skinny dipping? No way.

Eaten a dog? I don't believe so, but with Chinese food you never know.

Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes

Broken a bone: No.

Played truth or dare: Yes

Been in a physical fight: Yeah.

Been on a plane: Yes

Came close to dying: Yes, on several occasions.
Been in a sauna: No

been in a hottub: Yes, in AC and Vegas

Swam in the ocean: Gone into the ocean yes, swam no.

Fallen asleep in school: Yeah, mostly in grade school. Still passed with A's somehow.

Ran away: Nope.

Broken someone's heart?: Not sure

Cried when someone died: Yeah.

Cried in school?: Not in years.

Fell off your chair: Probably.

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? Yeah, I've done that, like a moron.

Saved AIM conversations: Yeah, I'm on instant log.

Saved e-mails: Sometimes

Used someone: Nope

Been cheated on? Yep
---------------------------------------------------------------

What is...

Your good luck charm?: Don't think I have one

New fav. song?: "Life is Beautiful" - Sixx A.M.

televison show? Scrubs

Last thing you ate?: Poppycock chocolate lovers

What kind of shampoo do you use? Either Vive for men or Suave for men

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ever Had...

Chicken pox: Yeah.

sore throat: Plenty of times

Stitches: No.

Broken nose: Nope.
----------------------------------------

Do You...

Believe in love at first sight: Not at all.

Believe in long distance relationships: Fuck to the no.

Like school: Never really did.

----------------------------------------

Question:

Who was the last person that called you? Jon

what did you do today? Woke up, played Super Mario Galaxy and then did this thinger

Who makes you smile the most? My friends and family

Who knows you the best? Everyone I care about should know me equally by now.

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? No

Do you like yourself: To a point

Do you get along with your family: Mostly
------------------------------------------------------------------

Final Questions:

What did you do yesterday: Errands with my brother and mom.

Hate someone in your family: No

Gotten any awards?: Last one was a friggen bowling trophy. Yes I am a fat guy stereotype.

What car/truck do you wish to have: Car? Chevy Camaro. Truck? Chevy Suburban.

Where do you want to get married: Pfft. Marriage.

Good driver? I think so

Good Singer? Not at all
Have a lava lamp: Yeah, its broken though

How many remote controls are in your house? Five

What do you dream about? Don't really dream

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.

Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: Rootbeer.
Skiing or Boarding: Boarding i guess.

Summer or winter: Winter.

Silver or Gold: Silver

Diamond or pearl: Diamond I'm a guy so pearls are a no.

Sprite or 7up: Sprite.

Coffee or sweet tea: Sweet tea.

Phone or in person: In person.

Are you oldest, Youngest so no.

------------------------------------------------------

Today did you...

1. Talk to someone you liked: I don't "like" anyone

2. Buy something: Bunch of dvds and games yesterday

3. Get sick? Always a little sick

8. Talked to an ex: No

9. Miss someone: Nope

Last person who....

10. Slept in your bed: Myself.

11. Saw/heard you cry: No idea

12. Made you cry: Probably last year's bullshit

13. Went to the movies with? Chris and my mom probably

15. Said "I Love You": No idea
____________________________________________

16. Ever been in a fight with your pet? Don't have a pet

18. Been to Mexico: Not yet

19. Been to Canada: Yep and I want to go back.

20. Been to Europe: Not yet.
__________________________________________________

Random...

21. Do you have a crush on someone right now: Nope

22. What book are you reading now: Nothing

23. Best feeling in the world? Accomplishment
24. Future KIDS names: No idea.

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.

26. What's under your bed: A couple of things
27. Favorite sports to watch: Baseball and football, and if in person...hockey

38. Song that's stuck in your head? nothing

39. Have you ever played strip poker: No.

40. Have you ever gotten beat up?: Nope.

42. Have you ever been on radio/TV: I don't believe so.

43. Have you ever been in a "mosh-pit"? No.

44. Ever liked someone, but thought they never noticed you?: Plenty of times.
_____________________________________________

Random...

what color is your underwear right now?: Not checking

What do you first notice about the opposite sex: Eyes

Your Favorite Food?: Chicken breast

Ever get so drunk you dont remember?: Don't believe so

Hair color?: Black

Are you too shy to ask someone out?: I don't care to ask anyone out right about now.

Hugs or Kisses? Doesn't matter

Aim? Yar it be CaptainIconious

Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? I don't really like popcorn too much

dogs or cats? Cats.

Favorite Flower? n/a

Have you ever fired a gun? A paintball one yes.

Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? Yeah

How many pillows do you sleep with? Too many

Do you think any of your ex(s) miss you? Nope

Repost this as "THE LONGEST SURVEY EVER" if you make it through all of the survey

The Year That Was 2007

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 15:18:06 GMT

January:
I don't think I did anything too special this month. I'm honestly even wondering what the hell I was talking about in last year's year in review blog about this month.
"January - It seems that January is always my slow month cause the only thing I remember about that month is starting my new LiveJournal and posting up my dating criteria. Nothing too exciting. Oddly enough January 2007 seems like that will break the trend but y'all will just have to wait and see."
Anyone have any ideas? If so comment me or message me what I was referring to. Cause I really have no fucking idea.

February:
Didn't do too much. My oldest brother turned twenty nine and we went to Whiskey Tango to celebrate. I also saw Saliva live in concert.

March:
Another not so active month. Won tickets to go to "Rockstar Taste of Chaos 2007". Went to the first Phillies game in my ticket package on the thirtieth to see them play the Red Sox in spring training interleague play.

April:
Rob turned twenty three. I tried dieting and failed miserably. I went to see Stone Sour at the "2007 Jagermeister Music Tour". I also went to see the Phillies play the Mets and Nationals.

May:
Had a joint birthday party at Whiskey Tango to celebrate Nicole turning twenty one and my twenty second birthday. I also went to see the Phillies play the Brewers on "Ryan Howard Bobblehead Day" and the Blue Jays as part of my ticket package.

June:
Saw the Phillies play the Giants and had the opportunity to boo Barry Bonds along with the rest of the fans at Citizens Bank Park. I also saw the fightin's play the White Sox (and give Jim Thome a heroes welcome) and the Reds (for two games, one being part of my ticket package...the other being a firework night). My mom also celebrated her birthday on the 15th.

July:
Took part in a surprise birthday dinner for Heather. Went to Red Bank, NJ to go to the Quick Stop and RST Video stores and also went to Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash and bought some View Askew goodies. I also went to see the Phil's play the Nationals again. This month my aunt also passed away from cancer.

August:
Went to the "Family Values 2007" and "Ozzfest 2007" tours respectively. I also went on my usual family vacation to Wildwood, NJ. I also started packing and moving my stuff over to my new place...which was the first floor of my grandparents old house.

September:
Formally moved into my new apartment and also got an unexpected roommate out of the deal too, Craig. I also went to see my family doctor due to suffering some severe knee pain the past few months that got nothing but worse only to be put on medical leave from work until the pain was diagnosed and possibly treated. I also went up to New York with 4/5's of my family to see "RENT" on Broadway with two members of the OBC returning for the time being (Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal). I also purchased Anthony Rapp's book at the show and had it autographed by him.
As usual I also went to another Phillies game where I saw them play the Rockies. I also saw them play the Nationals (again) and try to keep their NL East lead over the Mets.

October:
I went to fabulous Las Vegas,Nevada in my first ever plane ride.(Check out the picture folder on myspace to see pics of the trip). I also went to the ren faire for the first and last time of the year.
Went to Eastern State Penn with a bunch of friends for "Terror Behind the Walls". Also went to "Valley of Fear" with friends too.
And also threw a Halloween party in which in my opinion was a bust and left me stuck with leftover Domino's pizza for like two weeks.

November:
Went to see the Flyers play the Boston Bruins in the best tickets I've ever had for a professional sport.

December:
Got medically cleared to return to work and told to diet. Hung out with Amanda a bunch of times. Bought an xbox 360. Went to Dicken's up at the PRF. Celebrated Christmas with the family.
Wrote a year in review blog.

* I also went to a scattered number of PWU shows throughout the year.

Differences within a year....

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 06:02:11 GMT

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Iconious
Date: Jul 19, 2006 8:46 AM

The longest survey you'll ever fill out! Do the world a favor: fill it out and post it for all your friends.... Do this because the person who did this didn't sit here for ages for nothing. Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.

Name: Kev.

Single or Taken: Seeing Someone.

Happy about: The answer to question 2.

Siblings: Two older brothers.

Eye color: Brown.

Height: 5'8".

What are you wearing right now? Jean shorts and tee shirt.

Where do you live? Northeast Philadelphia.

Righty or lefty: Righty.

Can you make a dollar in change right now: Yes.
Best place to go for a date: The shore.
-----------------------------------------------------------

FAVORITES

Numbers: 13.
Animal: cat I guess.
Drink: Iced Tea.

Sport: Football.

Month: May.

Juice: Orange.4

Favorite cartoon character: Cartman.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Have You Ever...

Given anyone a bath: No.

Bungee Jumped? Never.

Made yourself throw-up? Yep.

Gone skinny dipping? No way.

Eaten a dog? I don't believe so, but with Chinese food you never know.

Loved someone so much it made you cry? I don't believe so.

Broken a bone: No.

Played truth or dare: Nope.

Been in a physical fight: Yeah.

Been on a plane: No way.

Came close to dying: Yes, on several occasions.
Been in a sauna: o.

been in a hottub: Yep, the most recent time was when I was in AC.

Swam in the ocean: Gone into the ocean yes, swam no.

Fallen asleep in school: Yeah, mostly in grade school. Still passed with A's somehow.

Ran away: Nope.

Broken someone's heart?: I don't think so.

Cried when someone died: Yeah.

Cried in school?: Not in years.

Fell off your chair: Probably.

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? Yeah, I've done that.

Saved AIM conversations: Yeah, I'm on instant log. (same answer as Tracey's)

Saved e-mails: Yeah, but they get deleted anyway.(ditto)

Used someone: No way!

Been cheated on? If you can call what I had a relationship then yeah. SHE WAS STILL WITH HER FREAKING BOYFRIEND!
---------------------------------------------------------------

What is...

Your good luck charm?: Don't have one.

New fav. song?: New favourite?! "Seize the Day" by Avenged Sevenfold.

televison show? Haven't really watched tv in years so I'll go with one of the few shows I do watch....South Park.

Last thing you ate?: Leftover sushi last night.

What kind of shampoo do you use? Whatever works and smells good.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ever Had...

Chicken pox: Yeah.

sore throat: Of course.

Stitches: No.

Broken nose: Nope.
----------------------------------------

Do You...

Believe in love at first sight: Sometimes.

Believe in long distance relationships: Fuck no. But for good reasons.

Like school: Never really did.

----------------------------------------

Question:

Who was the last person that called you? My mom.

what did you do today? Woke up and started this long ass survey.

Who makes you smile the most? Chade with the rest of my friends at a close second.

Who knows you the best? My brother Chris.

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? No.

Do you like yourself: Sometimes.

Do you get along with your family: Every now and again.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Final Questions:

What did you do yesterday: Got an EMG done on both hands and then worked.

Hate someone in your family: I guess hate would be too strong of a word. My dad is an ass though.

Gotten any awards?: Last one was a friggen bowling trophy. Yes I am a fat guy stereotype.

What car/truck do you wish to have: Car? Ford Mustang GT. Truck? Chevy Excursion.

Where do you want to get married: Wherever the love of my life wants to, within reason of course.

Good driver? Haven't been behind a wheel in about a month.

Good Singer? Not really.
Have a lava lamp: No.

How many remote controls are in your house? Too many to count.

What do you dream about? Either mundane stuff I hope happens or just the typical fantasy stuff.

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.

Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: Rootbeer.
Skiing or Boarding: Boarding i guess.

Summer or winter: Winter.

Silver or Gold: Silver

Diamond or pearl: Diamond I'm a guy so pearls are a no.

Sprite or 7up: Sprite.

Coffee or sweet tea: In the morning? Coffee. The rest of the day? Sweet tea.

Phone or in person: In person.

Are you oldest, Youngest so no.

------------------------------------------------------

Today did you...

1. Talk to someone you liked: No, not yet. Its kind of early. Hopefully she'll call later.

2. Buy something: Just woke up like a 1/2 hour ago so no.

3. Get sick? A little.

8. Talked to an ex: Nope.

9. Miss someone: Yeah. I won't see her till friday either :-(

Last person who....

10. Slept in your bed: Myself.

11. Saw/heard you cry: Jen Sanchez.

12. Made you cry: A build up of a lot of things. Mainly my friends fighting and the bullshit happening in my "relationship".

13. Went to the movies with? Chade.

15. Said "I Love You": Probably Nicole, Jenny or Heather.
____________________________________________

16. Ever been in a fight with your pet? No............

18. Been to Mexico: No.

19. Been to Canada: Yep and I want to go back.

20. Been to Europe: No.
__________________________________________________

Random...

21. Do you have a crush on someone right now: Indeed and it'd be nice to think that it is mutual.

22. What book are you reading now: Nothing, I was reading the Da Vinci Code. But I got lazy.

23. Best feeling in the world? Feeling loved.
24. Future KIDS names: No idea.

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.

26. What's under your bed: A whole bunch of crap.
27. Favorite sports to watch: Football.

38. Song that's stuck in your head? nothing at the moment.

39. Have you ever played strip poker: No.

40. Have you ever gotten beat up?: Nope.

42. Have you ever been on radio/TV: I don't believe so.

43. Have you ever been in a "mosh-pit"? No.

44. Ever liked someone, but thought they never noticed you?: Plenty of times.
_____________________________________________

Random...

what color is your underwear right now?: White and blue

What do you first notice about the opposite sex: eyes and smile

Your Favorite Food?: Chicken.

Ever get so drunk you dont remember?: No I always remember everything when I get drunk and I never have a hangover.

Hair color?: Black

Are you too shy to ask someone out?: I was.

Hugs or Kisses? Both.

Aim? Yar it be CaptainIconious

Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Movie theatre variety only thank you.

dogs or cats? Cats.

Favorite Flower? Roses.

Have you ever fired a gun? A paintball one yes.

Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? No.

How many pillows do you sleep with? Like four.

Do you think any of your ex(s) miss you? I highly doubt she does at all.

Repost this as "THE LONGEST SURVEY EVER" if you make it through all of the survey

This years answers

The longest survey you'll ever fill out! Do the world a favor: fill it out and post it for all your friends.... Do this because the person who did this didn't sit here for ages for nothing. Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.

Name: Kev.

Single or Taken: Single

Happy about: Nothing

Siblings: Two older brothers.

Eye color: Full of shit brown

Height: 5'8".

What are you wearing right now? lounge pants and a beater

Where do you live? Northeast Philadelphia.

Righty or lefty: Righty.

Can you make a dollar in change right now: No
Best place to go for a date: Fuck if I care..
-----------------------------------------------------------

FAVORITES

Numbers: 13.
Animal: Snake
Drink: Iced Tea.

Sport: Baseball

Month: October

Juice: Apple

Favorite cartoon character: Eric Cartman

---------------------------------------------------------------

Have You Ever...

Given anyone a bath: No.

Bungee Jumped? Never.

Made yourself throw-up? Yep.

Gone skinny dipping? No way.

Eaten a dog? I don't believe so, but with Chinese food you never know.

Loved someone so much it made you cry? Only when it was shown that the love wasn't mutual

Broken a bone: No.

Played truth or dare: Yes

Been in a physical fight: Yeah.

Been on a plane: Yes

Came close to dying: Yes, on several occasions.
Been in a sauna: No

been in a hottub: Yep, in Vegas

Swam in the ocean: I can't swim too well so no

Fallen asleep in school: Yeah, mostly in grade school. Still passed with A's somehow.

Ran away: Nope, moved away.

Broken someone's heart?: Nah, had my heart broken though

Cried when someone died: Yes

Cried in school?: Yes

Fell off your chair: Yep

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? Too many times

Saved AIM conversations: Instant logging for the win

Saved e-mails: Only important ones

Used someone: Only been used.

Been cheated on? If you can call what I had a relationship then yeah. SHE WAS STILL WITH HER FREAKING BOYFRIEND!
---------------------------------------------------------------

What is...

Your good luck charm?: I don't have good luck

New fav. song?: "Straight Lines" by Silverchair

televison show? Scrubs

Last thing you ate?: rice cakes

What kind of shampoo do you use? Vive for Men or Suave 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ever Had...

Chicken pox: Yeah.

sore throat: Yes

Stitches: No.

Broken nose: Nope.
----------------------------------------

Do You...

Believe in love at first sight: I don't even believe in love anymore

Believe in long distance relationships: Ask Samantha and Angel if I do....

Like school: No

----------------------------------------

Question:

Who was the last person that called you? My brother Chris

what did you do today? Went out with my brother Chris for a while

Who makes you smile the most? My friends and family

Who knows you the best? My friends and family

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Nope

Do you like yourself: Not really

Do you get along with your family: Usually
------------------------------------------------------------------

Final Questions:

What did you do yesterday: Errands with my mom and Chris and saw "Fred Claus"

Hate someone in your family: Not really

Gotten any awards?: Last one was a friggen bowling trophy. Yes I am a fat guy stereotype.

What car/truck do you wish to have: 2009 Chevrolet Camaro

Where do you want to get married: Marriage? Ha! What a joke!

Good driver? I believe so

Good Singer? Not at all.
Have a lava lamp: Yeah but its broken.

How many remote controls are in your house? 4.

What do you dream about? Don't dream

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.

Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: Rootbeer.
Skiing or Boarding: Boarding i guess.

Summer or winter: Winter.

Silver or Gold: Silver

Diamond or pearl: Diamond I'm a guy so pearls are a no.

Sprite or 7up: Sprite.

Coffee or sweet tea:Sweet tea.

Phone or in person: In person.

Are you oldest, Youngest so no.

------------------------------------------------------

Today did you...

1. Talk to someone you liked: I don't "like" anyone so no

2. Buy something: Cole Hamels shirt

3. Get sick? Finally started to get better for the most part

8. Talked to an ex: Wrote a final message since she disappeared like a bitch.

9. Miss someone: No

Last person who....

10. Slept in your bed: Myself.

11. Saw/heard you cry: No idea

12. Made you cry: No clue

13. Went to the movies with? my mom and brother

15. Said "I Love You": ugh, Angel
____________________________________________

16. Ever been in a fight with your pet? No

18. Been to Mexico: No.

19. Been to Canada: Yep and I want to go back.

20. Been to Europe: No.
__________________________________________________

Random...

21. Do you have a crush on someone right now: Fuck no

22. What book are you reading now: When I'm not lazy "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"

23. Best feeling in the world? No idea
24. Future KIDS names: No idea.

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.

26. What's under your bed: Nothing
27. Favorite sports to watch: Baseball and football.

38. Song that's stuck in your head? "Straight Lines" by Silverchair

39. Have you ever played strip poker: No.

40. Have you ever gotten beat up?: Nope.

42. Have you ever been on radio/TV: TV: in the crowd in old ass episodes of the real ECW

43. Have you ever been in a "mosh-pit"? Nope

44. Ever liked someone, but thought they never noticed you?: Story of my life
_____________________________________________

Random...

what color is your underwear right now?: Blue, green and white

What do you first notice about the opposite sex: eyes and smile

Your Favorite Food?: Chicken breast

Ever get so drunk you dont remember?: Kinda

Hair color?: Black

Are you too shy to ask someone out?: Yes, because of the bitch from this original survey

Hugs or Kisses? Both.

Aim? Yar it be CaptainIconious

Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Lightly buttered

dogs or cats? Cats.

Favorite Flower? n/a

Have you ever fired a gun? A paintball one yes.

Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? Sure

How many pillows do you sleep with? A shitload

Do you think any of your ex(s) miss you? Fuck no

Repost this as "THE LONGEST SURVEY EVER" if you make it through all of the survey

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 23:58:28 GMT

Phillies Tickets

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:59:30 GMT

I'm debating on renewing my partial package for the 2008 season. Same section (hopefully). It will also be plan C again which will consist of the following games.

4/2 Washington
4/17 Houston
4/30 San Diego
5/14 Atlanta*
5/26 Colorado
5/30 Florida
6/3 Cincinnati*
6/16 Boston*
6/20 Los Angeles
7/7 NY Mets
7/10 Saint Louis*
8/6 Florida
8/21 Washington
8/26 NY Mets*
9/8 Florida
9/11 Milwaukee
9/23 Atlanta

* = Games I want

All games without asterisks next to them will be completely up for grabs.
Also all games come with two tickets.

I'm only asking for $50 per game ($25 per ticket base price)

If I do get the package I need to make a deposit by 12/13/07 so anyone who is seriously interested contact me in the next few weeks to work out payment plans and game choices.

Thanks!
Kev

Free Thought Free Form

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 03:18:34 GMT

I figured since I have a bunch of stuff on my mind yet again I'd give one of these unplanned free flowing blogs another shot. Hopefully it'll be an interesting read, if not atleast it will cleanse my soul a bit.

Lately due to the anniversaries that come this week and the reminder from health physicians of my own mortality among a bunch of other things have got me thinking about my life in general and these are my thoughts and feelings.

I believe it may be time for me to actually grow up and start getting my life in order like I've been planning for over seven years now. Way before ShopRite. It is time for me to finally start studying for my G.E.D instead of complaining about the job I'm stuck at due to my lack of an education. It is also really high time for me to seriously start dieting, in which if anyone actually reads this damned thing they can see I've started...sorta. Yeah I am dieting but I am nowhere near what I should be at yet and I know it will take time.

It is not a comfortable feeling to know that if you do not get your life in order health wise you're only cutting short the time you have here and especially the pain and illness free time. So now at the age of twenty two since I've never taken care of myself I have to deal permanently with arthritis in both knees and I have to make big leaps and bounds now. When if I actually put more effort in, none of this would be a concern at all. My current health is nobodies fault but mine. I'm growing up enough to admit as much.

Just like my complacency and lack of motivation to get my G.E.D and go to college to better myself is also my fault. It is due to fears I have built into myself, no one else put them there. And instead of dealing with them and dealing with the impending change I have been hiding.

I also know I am not strong enough to do this on my own and yeah I have asked for help before and never followed through. I hope putting all of this out here will give me the motivation and courage to do so. Because this is a big leap for me to truly be this honest about a lot of things. I don't lie but I have censored.

I also know that in order to make myself appealing to the fairer sex I also should do those changes, which for most would be enough. But yet again it is self built fear because of preconceived notions of women that I have placed into myself due to some not so bright moments in my past. Which would be my attempt at a romantic life thus far.

And this will also be hard but I am writing it anyway.

Some of those problems are my fault. When trying to be in a relationship or even when in a relationship I immediately give my all and blindly usually. I rush into everything haphazardly just because I feel that if I don't give 120% to a girl she'll no longer want to be with me.

What I do not realize is I've been giving so much to the wrong women because if I had mate who was truly in it for me. Those things would not matter. I would be accepted as myself, not for how much I make myself available to them, at all hours of the day no matter where I am..or by showering them with ridiculous gifts.

I'd like to say those days are over but I will not know for sure until my next romantic encounter. I hope I atleast have learned my lessons and will take heed of my own words and advice for a change though.

But for now I am taking a break from romance anyway.

Its high time that 120% gets put into me helping myself. Into me becoming healthy and fit. Into me getting educated so I can finally join the real world and a true work force and not retail. Into finally getting my damned license instead sitting on it and pushing it off.

Its time for a new damned era.

In essence its time for Kev 3.0 because as much as 2.0 was an improvement in areas, I still also had bugs in others.

Time to work on those.

Time for a new me.

A better me.